It's important for brides and grooms to remember that each wedding experience is different. The energy and mood conveyed in wedding photographs is heavily influenced by the people involved in the wedding. A small wedding is very likely to have a different feel than a large wedding. The photographs will reflect the difference. The more interaction there is between people, the greater the likelihood the photographer will be able to capture spontaneous expressions of joy, concern, laughter, etc.
That is not to say that small groups cannot be wild and crazy. They certainly can. I suggest that the bride and groom work closely with their photographer and DJ to a create total wedding experience that fosters the kind of photography desired. Remember it's not just the place that makes the wedding venue. It's the people, the music, the timing, and the space.
Wedding planners may be able to help, too. But, the two vendors with the most experience in observing and entertaining people are the photographer and the DJ. A photographer should be as willing to work with you as a DJ is willing to play your music. Listen carefully to the advice each vendor gives about how to manage the time and/or move the party along. DJs and especially photographers have a strong motivation to help you create an event that will encourage the energy and mood that you want to see in your photographs. When the ceremony and party are over, all you'll have are each other and the photographs.
